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Prayer to Pierre (Drinking Johnny Walker Black Just to Get Drunk) [Dec. 16th, 2015|12:55 am]

Look --
Look what's bleeding here
Something tiny,
Something small
Something a little less than what's left
Some thing.
I'm so sorry, Pierre
but have you seen this?
Did you see what's happening here?
Have you seen these scattered grey-green guts like rubber ropes
that even scavengers won't eat?
What can you read from them?
I want you to see this (I'm sorry)
I need you know I don't want to be this
Look, I used to --
I used to.
I'm used to it now.
I am so sorry, Pierre
I know you've heard it before, (it's boring)
but didn't I used to be (There once was) somebody?
Someone I used to know?
(We had
We were
Years ago
I remember,
Look -- look at what's bleeding now
Look at this insignificance, this lack of indifference,
this loss, this longing, this
lost kingdom
this last
at last,
is all I'm asking
I'm so sorry Pierre.
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(no subject) [Oct. 5th, 2015|08:50 pm]

"His voice is as hard to listen to as a dying loved one, calling out to you for help, when you are restrained."
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"Never pet cats that you don't know. No, never pet anything." [Oct. 4th, 2015|05:04 am]
[Current Mood |"like blind little cave fish, hungry for eyes, or- a reason to have eyes"]
[Current Music |Wizard People, Dear Reader]

"Ronnie The Bear tells Harry that he could hardly stand watching him cow to such an asshole back there. Harry explains to the Bear that subtlety and patience are a great way to look pretty cool. The Bear has to agree, and they give each other Fonzie looks."
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(no subject) [Sep. 7th, 2015|03:29 am]

"The distance paid a lonesome price/ to see its motherland"

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The Girl After You [Jul. 31st, 2015|03:09 am]
[Current Mood |lonelylonely]

Blood-red and bleeding, but unbroken
A better blank than spoken
A better less than more than
A bitter silence, I'm trying
To stay quiet, I'm trying
Into the unknown next is barreling, baring
down, baring its teeth
(more than it should have)
The next unknown is juggernauting into now
too gently --
I need to feel the impact .
not this.
This --
it's not important.
It's not what I'm trying to say
-- I'm trying not to say.

Am I?:
Trying to say never
(the better to betray myself)
Trying to say no
(the better to be betrayed by)
Trying to stay silent,
An Other House,
deep down under the bonework,
trying out its quiet --
all the better to remember
a name it keeps forgetting
all the better to flash its jaws
and show its teeth
(it has too many)
All the better to construct an enemy

all the better to be surrounded.

And then, all the better to drown, unaided;
To stay silent deep down underneath the bonework, a quiet cobwebbed crawlspace between spaces,
a muted mouthing,
the beating of that hideous heart
between what is left unsaid
and --

(Who cares?
I forgot.
It doesn't matter.
I couldn't.
I can't.
I won't.
I wouldn't.
I would never.
I don't know how.
You wouldn't care.
if I did
I'll suffocate.
I want to.
go home
I'd do it
I --)
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(no subject) [Jul. 18th, 2015|02:25 am]

"I trusted him, and all I know
is what he told me."
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(no subject) [Jun. 27th, 2015|01:10 am]
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"There is not one, but many silences" [Jun. 17th, 2015|11:43 pm]
[Current Mood |drunkdrunk]

"Silence itself--the things one declines to say, or is forbidden to name, the discretion that is required between different speakers--is less the absolute limit of discourse, the other side from which it is separated by a strict boundary, than an element that functions alongside the things said, with them and in relation to them within over-all strategies. There is no binary division to be made between what one says and what one does not say; we must try to determine the different ways of not saying such things, how those who can and those who cannot speak of them are distributed, which type of discourse is authorized, or which form of discretion is required in either case. There is not one but many silences, and they are an integral part of the strategies that underlie and permeate discourses."
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"Just To Them" [May. 6th, 2015|12:04 am]
[Current Location |Hint: It has to do with pagination]
[Current Mood |mischievousmischievous]

{{ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ck0eAlicaQ }}
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(no subject) [Feb. 24th, 2015|09:36 pm]
[Current Mood |tiredtired]

"But from what you just told me, I think you kinda had the wrong idea from the very beginning. You know what I mean, Mr. Wind-Up Bird? What you were just talking about . . . I don't know, it's kind of impossible for anybody to do that stuff, like, 'OK, now I'm gonna make a whole new world' or 'OK, now I'm gonna make a whole new self.' That's what I think. You might think you made a new world or a new self, but your old self is always gonna be there, just below the surface, and if something happens, it'll stick its head out and say 'Hi.' You don't seem to realize that. You were made somewhere else. And even this idea you have of remaking yourself: even that was made somewhere else. Even I know that much, Mr. Wind-Up Bird. You're a grown-up, aren't you? How come you don't get it? That's a big problem, if you ask me. And that's what you're being punished for--by all kinds of things: by the world you tried to get rid of, or by the self you tried to get rid of. Do you see what I'm saying?"
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